Bringing Perspective to the Bullying Epidemic

The current focus on school bullying hits very close to home for me, as I'm sure it does for many others. It saddens me greatly to see and hear so many stories about children who feel there is no way out and decide to end there lives. Even more disheartening is that several of these young people happen to be homosexual. And while I cannot relate to these kids is either of those respects, I do have personal experience with bullying. Let me share my story with you.

First I should probably address the most important thing. While I was the occasional target of bullying throughout middle school, usually I was the one doing the bullying. If you ask my teachers and classmates from back then, they will all admit that I was a bully. I rarely resorted to violence, in fact there is only one situation where I ever put my hands on anyone. But only after she insulted my father, and it still was not right. Instead, I used my words to hurt people in every way possible. You see, I thought I was better than everyone back then. I was arrogant, selfish, and most importantly just plain mean. I got some satisfaction out of making other people feel worse about themselves, so in turn that I could make myself feel better. When people threatened my self perception of superiority, I fought back by bullying them. I attacked their academic achievements, athletic ability, appearance, etc. It did not matter. As long as I made them feel worse than I accomplished my goal. It wasn't until I later was on the other side of this situation that I realized how wrong bullying was.

Looking back now, I cannot imagine how miserable I must have made some of my classmates feel. I was a cruel person, who lacked the social understanding to know what I was doing was wrong. Many teachers tried to put a stop to it through punishment, but I would just find ways to get around them finding out what I was doing. I managed to talk my way out of several detentions & suspensions using the promise that I would stop bullying. But I didn't stop until I grew up a little. That occurred once I found myself to be the target of bullying. I had alienated myself so much from my classmates that I basically had no friends. I had people who tolerated being around me, but that was it. This was when I became the target of minor bullying. It was very tame compared to what I was doing to others before. But it hurt none the less. I would spend several nights crying myself to sleep because of the treatment I was receiving. I imagine I made many cry too. After my experience, I gained a much needed perspective on just how wrong bullying was, and still is.

If I could go back now, I would have treated those people in a better manner. They never deserved what I did to them, just like the children now do not deserve the bullying. If you think bullying and downgrading others makes you feel better about yourself in the long run, I am here to tell you that it doesn't. I may have temporarily felt better about myself, but that feeling would fade away as quickly as it came. Once I realized this, I began to use my experiences to help others. But first I had to personally apologize to those I had bullying when we were younger. After that, I turned my attention to children currently in middle and elementary school. I helped with sports camps and made sure that all the athletes were treated in a respectful manner with no mistreat present. Now in college, I am a tutor at an after school program. When I see instances of bullying, I like to share my story with the children so that they can understand the consequences of their actions. I also hope to become more involved in various organizations so that I can continue to help bring an end to the wide spread bullying.

And to anyone who reads this as a victim of bullying, I am sorry you had to experience that. It was not right and should have been stopped. To those who bullied others, I hope you take the time to think about what you did and how you made people feel. Please continue to bring attention to this issue in whatever ways that you can. We need to educate people on the dangerous effects of bullying.

Please remember, It gets better.

~AJ